Favorite Quotes

 

“Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.” (Jack Handy)

"A liberal is someone whose mind is so open and broadened, that they are unable to take even their own side in an argument for fear of offending themselves." (Unknown) 

"The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities." (Ayn Rand)

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"When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong." (Arthur C. Clarke)

 

"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace.  We ask not your counsel nor your arms.  Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you.  May your chains rest lightly upon you and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen."   (Samuel Adams – brewer and a patriot)

 

“One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.” (Jack Handy)

 

“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.” (Jack Handy)

 

“Life is tough.  Life is tougher if you’re stupid” (John Wayne)

 

“What’s the square footage here?” (Bill Bywater)

 

“Come on Brett, let’s go for another ride on MARTA…” (Wendy Kunich)

 

“I’ve been to jail before – it ain’t so bad…” (John McLure to a North Myrtle Beach, SC cop)